{"id":871,"date":"2024-07-16T18:59:46","date_gmt":"2024-07-17T01:59:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/meeshahalm.com\/?page_id=871"},"modified":"2026-04-15T16:56:09","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T23:56:09","slug":"when-they-ask","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/meeshahalm.com\/?page_id=871","title":{"rendered":"Blog: Chit Chat With Cancer Muggles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When they say their cousin cured their cancer without drugs, take a beat, swallow your rage, and say, \u201cWow, that\u2019s lucky for them!\u201d Then locate the nearest exit or party guest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they say, \u201cHow is that possible? You are the healthiest eater I know,\u201d take a breath and grin thank you, and if feeling generous, add, \u201cWell, at least I don\u2019t have to change my lifestyle very much\u201d–although that second half is only a half-truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they ask, \u201cDo you mind if I ask you a personal question?\u201d\u2013 and they mean it from a place of curiosity and not fix it mode, take a breath and say, yes, \u201cOf course,\u201d and then let it rip, explaining in great detail about emptying the contents of an ileostomy bag full of undigested food or how fissures make you feel like pooping glass.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is also a terrific tactic to use without someone who is asking too many questions and is armed with a basket of unsolicited suggestions.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the doctor tells you you just need to move more and eat less to lose those 15 extra pounds, don\u2019t smile and say, \u201cYou\u2019re right, doc.\u201d Or whine, \u201cBut I\u2019ve tried that already with little success. Instead, say, \u201cPerhaps you should run labs on my thyroid or see what else could be the root cause of the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when the well-meaning nutritionist tells you just to eat more fruits, nuts, and raw veggies, ask them for their email and tell them you\u2019ll send them a copy of your Colorectal Cancer Cookbook when it\u2019s published so they can be more helpful to the next shmo in my shoes who comes to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And come to think of it, when anyone, anywhere, says JUST to describe anything about cancer, side effects, or a missing prescription that Optum forgets to autofill, gently but firmly point out that JUST is an awfully condescending term. Perhaps the word they were looking for was something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they say what doesn\u2019t kill you makes you stronger, ask them to show you their scars or the pill cases and other gear they carry in their purses to support their stronger lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The questions will never end, but hopefully, our answers will likely stop them in their tracks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I initially wrote this piece, based on the poem The Art of Disappearing by Naomi Shihab Nye, in my Wild Writing group while undergoing cancer treatment in 2020. If I hadn\u2019t had a supportive, nonjudgmental space to express what was coming up for me during that time, I don\u2019t think I would have been able to process my emotions and setbacks as well.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can also read my blog post, Waltzing With Cancer, <\/a>about radically accepting my diagnosis and Nobody Wants to Suffer,<\/a> which I also wrote in my wild writing group at UCSF.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When they say their cousin cured their cancer without drugs, take a beat, swallow your rage, and say, \u201cWow, that\u2019s lucky for them!\u201d Then locate the nearest exit or party guest.<\/p>\n

∼ Continue Reading ∼<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":627,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-871","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"featured_image_urls_v2":{"full":"","thumbnail":"","medium":"","medium_large":"","large":"","1536x1536":"","2048x2048":"","featured":""},"post_excerpt_stackable_v2":"

When they say their cousin cured their cancer without drugs, take a beat, swallow your rage, and say, \u201cWow, that\u2019s lucky for them!\u201d Then locate the nearest exit or party guest. When they say, \u201cHow is that possible? You are the healthiest eater I know,\u201d take a breath and grin thank you, and if feeling generous, add, \u201cWell, at least I don\u2019t have to change my lifestyle very much\u201d–although that second half is only a half-truth. When they ask, \u201cDo you mind if I ask you a personal question?\u201d\u2013 and they mean it from a place of curiosity and not…<\/p>\n","category_list_v2":"","author_info_v2":{"name":"meesha","url":"https:\/\/meeshahalm.com\/?author=1"},"comments_num_v2":"0 comments","yoast_head":"\nBlog: Chit Chat With Cancer Muggles - Meesha Halm<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/meeshahalm.com\/?page_id=871\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Blog: Chit Chat With Cancer Muggles - Meesha Halm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When they say their cousin cured their cancer without drugs, take a beat, swallow your rage, and say, \u201cWow, that\u2019s lucky for them!\u201d Then locate the nearest exit or party guest.∼ Continue Reading ∼\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/meeshahalm.com\/?page_id=871\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meesha Halm\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-04-15T23:56:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/meeshahalm.com\\\/?page_id=871\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/meeshahalm.com\\\/?page_id=871\",\"name\":\"Blog: Chit Chat With Cancer Muggles - 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